Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Friendships and Trust

There are moments when life is tough.
I have never asked for a green pastures or a perfect picture life. I have never dreamed for it all. I just want to be able to make it through a day; through this life.
I have had my share of blessings for which I am always thankful.
And I have had my share of tragedies and heartache...more than I care to share sometimes.

I have lived a life that is full of cynicism, distrust, and hopelessness. I pray that I do not become cynical. I am not living in hopelessness, for God is my Hope; my refuge; my everything. But I do live this life in distrust. I trust no one. Not even my family. 
If I trust anyone (to any degree), it is God for He is faithful. He loves me no matter what. He has not hurt me. He is my healer. He has always been there for me and always will be.

Now, I wish I could trust my "friends".
Trust is such a fragile thing. Once it is broken, it is never the same and extremely difficult to repair.
Someone once told me that I need to be open, honest, and transparent...be open to trust. Sadly, not everyone else thinks like that. This I have found leads you to immense heartache. 
Friendship is something to cherish, one shouldn't take it lightly. It is a necessary part of living, a part of our relationship with God, even.
Friendship is not a one-way highway. It is a scale, delicately balanced. It takes a lot of give and take. It takes an immense amount of opening yourself up to one another; being transparent, being honest. 
It takes work to build friendship and to build trust to be the foundation of that friendship.
So once, trust has been broken, the foundation becomes broken...to repair it is costly and it is never the same. 
This is sad.
Jesus dealt with friends abandoning Him. He knows the hurt of distrust. He knows the hurt of a broken friendship. He forgave. He loved.

I have forgiven. I do love. Trust has been broken. 

I am not sure if I ever will get this life right. But I do strive to continue in this race. I cannot give up. He hasn't given up on me.

I will continue to build friendships but I fear they will not last...there is no trust. And friendship and trust go hand in hand. Pray for your friends...pray that you build them up and that your trust is solid.
Pray for one another. Love one another. 




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