In the process of emerging from the darkness, I am taking a risk. I am stepping into the light with open wounds. Needless to say, I am frightened and want so desperately to stay in the darkness...in my own little jail cell that I have created. But if I were to do that, stay where I am, I will surely die and become separated from God.

Tonight, I will share with members of my praise team about the darkness that I have been living in the dark for the last few months. I will have to be open and vulnerable and what I would rather do is run and hide!

The scariest part is that some of them will not  understand. They will turn away from the raw, gritty, and broken person for it is something that they cannot understand. I have to tell myself that this is okay, not everyone will know, comprehend the life that I live and its struggles...just as I cannot know theirs sometimes. I know that friendships will be tested tonight. I may even lose some as friends. But in the end, I must proceed...by being open and vulnerable, I am being open and honest with God and myself and can begin the road to recovery. And I know that this road will be long and probably treacherous and a constant struggle...but in all of this, if I am brought closer to God...then I will bear with anything to accomplish the prize that awaits me.

As leaves that fall from the trees in due season, I, too, am learning to fall away from one season and walk into another. I may find myself in a stormy season, full of rain and crashing waves, but now, that little light that has been in the darkness is glowing stronger.

Tonight, I will face some of my fears. Tonight, I begin to emerge from the darkness.