Springtime....

a season of renewal. 

I have to remind myself what it means to be a child of God. I have to remind myself that I am not defined by others and what they think. I have to remind myself that I am being renewed each and every day that I awake and make Him my first and my only.   I am springtime each and every day....a season of renewal.

I have looked back at my past posts and there are moments that I know exactly who I am and what it means to be a follower of Christ. 
But....
I find there are so many more moments that I doubt; that there is unbelief; that there are more struggles than there are victories. I would love to scream and yell and say that I am not living this life to the fullest!; That I am being overwhelmed by the darkness!; That I have no faith!
Yet....
If I were to scream and yell all of those things....I fear I would be rejected; ridiculed for being foolish; ostracized for being negative, hypocritical; unloved for my doubts, my unbelief. I fear being alone.
Hope...
is the one thing that keeps me moving forward. Hope keeps me grounded in His Word and His promises. Hope is all I have. 

I wonder if I were truly honest with my feelings...how many of my "friends" would still be beside me. I have seen some pull away by a small portion of my honesty and transparency. It hurts. 
I think that is why I am not completely honest....I fear losing "friends". Sad really....when did I make my friendships so important that Jesus is not enough for me.
Not so with Jesus.....
He makes sure I know I am loved by Him, I am His child, I am redeemed, I am renewed....I don't have to be anything more...I am enough.
I am springtime. I am a season of renewal. He isn't finished with me. He is my hope.