Perspective and focus.

I think the two go hand in hand. Perspective is how you view things in your life, about your life, and about yourself and where you are headed. Focus is the view you choose.

Lately, God is changing my perspective because I have chosen to focus on Him. And because I have chosen to focus on Him, He is changing my perspective.
He is changing how I view others and how I view myself. He is changing how I view my relationships with others and with Him. 

He brings things into focus through His Word and through people. Lately, for me, it has been the basis of one verse....

" Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philippians 4:8

This is where I need to keep my focus and turn my perspective towards. It has moved me to think about the everyday things that I do and say and are they what He wants from me. Is all that I do truly praiseworthy? Am I being the light? Am I encouraging rather than complaining?
Needless to say, God has taken one verse (and has given me several more) that has changed my perspective and my focus. I am not the person I wish to be. That being said, I am becoming that person I wish to be. 

So instead of viewing things from my perspective....I am going to view things from the perspective of what God wants. No more complaining. (I am going to work on this one!) To encourage, to love, to build up. I will think upon what  is true, what is noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. I will think about excellence and praiseworthy from His perspective and make sure my focus is towards Him.
I will forgive. Not look back at the past. A friend told me something that has truly stuck with me; "when you are finally home in heaven, will what happened here matter?"  So no looking back at the past hurts and sorrows...in the end what matters is what I have done for Him. So I will forgive and keep my focus.

For me now, this is what I need to do. To be the light. To be an encourager. To be a warrior of prayer. To be a woman of God.

What are you willing to sacrifice for a friend?

Sacrifice....means giving more than is possible to give. 

I am finding that friendships call for much sacrifice. The problem is not everyone sees this. What they desire are friends, but only on a superficial level...a friend who doesn't require a lot of work; one who listens but not answer or give their own advice; a friend who will be a "yes man" kind of friend.
For me, a having a friend means that I have to sacrifice even when I don't feel like sacrificing at all. Having a friend means you do listen, but listen with an open and loving heart. Having a friend means you do listen but you also get to speak. Having a friend means that you are different and accepted for just who you are...even when you are not in agreement with your friend. Having a friend means you give. You give your time, your ear, and your heart. Having a friend means you are there for them, no matter the time or inconvenience, and that they are doing the same for you! There are going to be trials and problems....but friendship is work! But all those trials and problems crate a friendship that is strong and built to last...if all are honest and open and loving in the truth!
Friendship is a sacrifice! Don't take it for granted! Our greatest friend sacrificed His life for us! How much more should we sacrifice.....

My heart is truly heavy. I feel the pain and see the heartaches of each of my friends. I pray. No matter how much I am hurting personally....it isn't about me. It is about those whom I love...those who I will sacrifice for...those who I love and call friends. I pray they would turn their focus on Him...turn their eyes toward Him...nothing is greater than having Jesus as your friend,; your comforter; your guide through the troubles!

I don't want to give up on my friends. I want to keep giving, keep sacrificing for them.......I want to be a friend like Jesus! My goal for this year....to be an encouragement to my friends, to love them as He loves them, to pray for them without ceasing.....and to have the courage to walk away from them when it becomes necessary.....
I don't want to give up on my friends....am I willing to sacrifice for them?   Yes!!

So what are YOU willing to sacrifice for a friend?

Springtime....

a season of renewal. 

I have to remind myself what it means to be a child of God. I have to remind myself that I am not defined by others and what they think. I have to remind myself that I am being renewed each and every day that I awake and make Him my first and my only.   I am springtime each and every day....a season of renewal.

I have looked back at my past posts and there are moments that I know exactly who I am and what it means to be a follower of Christ. 
But....
I find there are so many more moments that I doubt; that there is unbelief; that there are more struggles than there are victories. I would love to scream and yell and say that I am not living this life to the fullest!; That I am being overwhelmed by the darkness!; That I have no faith!
Yet....
If I were to scream and yell all of those things....I fear I would be rejected; ridiculed for being foolish; ostracized for being negative, hypocritical; unloved for my doubts, my unbelief. I fear being alone.
Hope...
is the one thing that keeps me moving forward. Hope keeps me grounded in His Word and His promises. Hope is all I have. 

I wonder if I were truly honest with my feelings...how many of my "friends" would still be beside me. I have seen some pull away by a small portion of my honesty and transparency. It hurts. 
I think that is why I am not completely honest....I fear losing "friends". Sad really....when did I make my friendships so important that Jesus is not enough for me.
Not so with Jesus.....
He makes sure I know I am loved by Him, I am His child, I am redeemed, I am renewed....I don't have to be anything more...I am enough.
I am springtime. I am a season of renewal. He isn't finished with me. He is my hope. 

An open and transparent heart........



causes your heart to be hurt, to become broken, and to experience love.






Valentine's Day is drawing near and it is causing me to ponder about love and the condition of our heart. 
We equate love to the condition of our heart.
 If our heart is happy, then we are filled with love.
If we think of a spouse, a friend, or family we know love is in our hearts. These feelings of love are the basis for these relationships (and rightly so).

Yet, I wonder how many of us have opened our hearts fully. Have we been open and transparent enough with others to allow love to grow? 
I am sure that in many marriages there is openness and transparency...that is what keeps love growing and the marriage to become stronger.
But what of friendships....are we open and transparent in these relationships?

I have tried to be open and transparent in my friendships. I have been hurt badly. My heart has become broken into little pieces. I have walked away from friends because of the hurts and brokenness. But now I know that I should have continued on with those friends....I have lost the experience of loving them more.

Love is not a feeling. It is not a noun. Love is a verb. Love is an action. 
This means giving your heart away to your friends and to others. Be open and transparent for you never know who could benefit from your hurts or brokenness. They are not for naught. All the ugliness, all the hurts, all the scars, they can be love in action. 

I can be honest...I have not been open and transparent with my friends. There is a lot of fear wrapped up in that.....they could walk away from me. I would lose their friendship. 
Fear is the opposite of love. Fear keeps you trapped in the prison of your hurts and brokenness.

I can no longer live in fear. I can no longer live in the hurts and brokenness. I am going to be more open and transparent and allow my heart to be hurt, to allow myself to become broken, and to allow myself to experience love.

Dandelions, a Weed of Distinction.

The dandelion is a weed...a nuisance to many people but I sort of like them. They bring back great memories of my childhood. I can remember sitting in a field full of dandelions in various stages of growth....from little buds to the puffy yellow balls and finally the fairy-like white puff balls. I remember taking the white puff balls and blowing the little "umbrella" seeds away into the wind. The seeds danced and floated in the wind...being taken wherever the wind blew. Truly magical to a child.

However, for the adult, we know that those seeds would propagate those seeds all over the place!
Wherever the wind blew those tiny umbrella-like seeds and wherever they landed, there was bound to be another field (or a lawn) full of dandelions.

But as I watch those seeds dance in the wind now as an adult, I can still sense the magic of the dancing seeds in the wind.
Just as the dandelion releases its seeds into the wind...it lets go of what it was...so I too can let go. I just have to let the past go; who I was is not who I am going to be. I just need to let all those hurts and mistakes go... to fly away in the winds of change...to let go of what I was.

The dandelion is truly an amazing little plant. It is self-propagating. All it needs is the wind to push its seeds to another field. It creates itself over and over and ensures its existence for future generations.

A thing to ponder...what if I were like the dandelion? What if I were let my faith be self-propagating? What if I allowed the "wind" of the Spirit to push my seeds of faith to another person? Imagine the result....faith that has ensured growth and eternal existence!

I think the dandelion is a weed of great distinction....it has taught me to let go of my past and to let the wind take my seeds of faith to the fields of life.

Time to let the wind blow....to watch the tiny umbrella-like seeds float and dance. 

Friendships and Trust

There are moments when life is tough.
I have never asked for a green pastures or a perfect picture life. I have never dreamed for it all. I just want to be able to make it through a day; through this life.
I have had my share of blessings for which I am always thankful.
And I have had my share of tragedies and heartache...more than I care to share sometimes.

I have lived a life that is full of cynicism, distrust, and hopelessness. I pray that I do not become cynical. I am not living in hopelessness, for God is my Hope; my refuge; my everything. But I do live this life in distrust. I trust no one. Not even my family. 
If I trust anyone (to any degree), it is God for He is faithful. He loves me no matter what. He has not hurt me. He is my healer. He has always been there for me and always will be.

Now, I wish I could trust my "friends".
Trust is such a fragile thing. Once it is broken, it is never the same and extremely difficult to repair.
Someone once told me that I need to be open, honest, and transparent...be open to trust. Sadly, not everyone else thinks like that. This I have found leads you to immense heartache. 
Friendship is something to cherish, one shouldn't take it lightly. It is a necessary part of living, a part of our relationship with God, even.
Friendship is not a one-way highway. It is a scale, delicately balanced. It takes a lot of give and take. It takes an immense amount of opening yourself up to one another; being transparent, being honest. 
It takes work to build friendship and to build trust to be the foundation of that friendship.
So once, trust has been broken, the foundation becomes broken...to repair it is costly and it is never the same. 
This is sad.
Jesus dealt with friends abandoning Him. He knows the hurt of distrust. He knows the hurt of a broken friendship. He forgave. He loved.

I have forgiven. I do love. Trust has been broken. 

I am not sure if I ever will get this life right. But I do strive to continue in this race. I cannot give up. He hasn't given up on me.

I will continue to build friendships but I fear they will not last...there is no trust. And friendship and trust go hand in hand. Pray for your friends...pray that you build them up and that your trust is solid.
Pray for one another. Love one another. 

Every day is a new beginning. Take a deep breath and start again.



A new year is upon us and so begins the resolutions for us to change. However, each and every day is a new beginning.
A moment for us to start anew.
But with the changing of the new year, it does bring up our short-comings to the forefront and gives us the opportunity to  make an immediate changes, to make resolutions. For myself, I have decided not to make any resolutions. Resolutions can easily be broken. Therefore,  I have decided to make commitments to the Lord...to give my word to Him to make the changes necessary to live the life He has called me to live.
I have a created a list of changes that need to be made and wrote them in a letter to God as my commitment to Him. A promise that these changes will be at the forefront of my mind throughout each day of the coming year.
I realize that this is a tall order and may seem drastic but the time is now to step out of the boat and onto the water. No more wishy-washy resolutions, no more half-hearted commitments, no more selfishness and placing God second in my life.
He is my Lord and Saviour. I need to act like it.

Take a deep breath and start again. Grace allows us to do that every day.
And I am going to take each and every day to start anew and begin again.
I am taking a deep breath.